Friday, February 27, 2009

7 Weeks To Go, and I Am Losing My Everlovin' Mind

Nesting. It is a beautiful thing, no? It can cause us to accomplish tasks that we have been putting off for months, to have strokes of genius to finally solve that one nagging organizational problem, or to work tirelessly day and night to create a beautiful, clean home.

Unfortunately, it can also make you a stark, raving lunatic, who terrorizes all around her. This is where I and my family are living right now. I look around and I am obsessed with finally accomplishing all the projects, cleaning and organization that I have been too busy and tired to accomplish. I wake up thinking about what a mess my home is, and how I am going to go crazy if I don't get it all done NOW!!!

My poor children have been helping me in a kind of fearful, let's-do-it-before-mommy-goes- postal-on-us kind of way. I have been trying to thank them as often as I can, just to balance out my insanity. Hopefully it is working, because I don't see this instinct backing off any time soon.

My faithful friend and sister, Beth-Ann finally gave me the official diagnosis today. I am nesting. I sort of knew that, but to hear someone else say it made it official. I am 7 weeks away from delivering this little bundle of joy, and all I can do is think about curtains in the office, and removing the sliding doors from the closet to be replaced with curtains on a tension rod. If those closet doors fall off the track one more time, I may have to completely lose it!! (They are currently one on, one off. Gaaaaahhhhhhh!!)

Obviously I am a hormonal wreck. But I have been here before. 4 times before, to be exact. And we have all survived it before. We will again, I feel sure.

So, in addition to making my family insane, I am spending mental time trying to figure out where to put this child. We have 4 boys in one bedroom, and an office/school room to choose from. Right now I am waiting for someone to come pick up our two school desks to make room for a pack and play in the school room. That will probably have to serve as her room for a while, at least until we sell our home and move!

I am also trying to prepare myself for the possibility that they made a mistake, and this is really NOT a girl! We are prepared with stuff either way, so it will be fine. I just need to put my heart in the right place. I am making sure that my heart is ready for either eventuality. On the one hand, I end up with a daughter, and this is a tremendous blessing. On the other hand, I end up a mother of 5 boys. This is a stunning prospect. Dizzying, in fact.

So, daily I tell myself, this could be a boy. I don't want to be crying in disappointment over my newborn, beautiful baby! I also don't want to get my heart set on being that mom of 5 boys, and take my eyes off of what a blessing a little lady would be. It is a fine, delicate tightrope I am walking.

What I know for sure is that all babies are a blessing! And I will take one look at this baby and fall head over heels in love just like I did in the past with my four other blessings. As for the beautiful, pink clothing that we have piling up for our baby, well, I'll just have to have my husband return it all if this is a boy! Those ruffly, sweet little pink things would sure be hard to say good-bye to!! The people at the store don't need me there, crying my eyes out as I hand over all the cute bloomers! We may just have to make our son wear bloomers if this is a boy. I have come to believe, we haven't lived until we have had a kid in bloomers.

(I won't really do that by the way. Please don't send CPS after me!!!)

1 comment:

Jenn4him said...

At least you know this won't last forever. We don't have an official school room and are doing just fine. We gather around the kitchen table or wherever we decide to land. Some days Grace does math on her big therapy ball up-side-down. That's the beauty of home education. I can't wait to see your new baby, girl or boy.
Jenn Hoots